"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade." -Charles Dickens
The first of March. A welcome day in our home. So much anticipation turning that calendar page and bidding February adieu! February could be called the overwhelming month (playing off of this blog post from the Parenting Passageway) for me. It was filled with bitter cold days, a serious lack of outdoor time, illness, a lack of time spent with friends and family in an effort to contain our illnesses, loss of valuable school time, sleepless nights, feeling overwhelmed and rundown and ended again more illness. I am so ready to move on.
It was also the month that our baby starting needing to be held nearly all day and night. Between teething, illness and new developmental stages, our little one just needed the extra comfort of nursing and a parent's arms in order to go to and stay asleep. I have to acknowledge how difficult this has been for me. It's been really difficult.
Caring for sick little ones is never easy. It requires loads of physical, emotional and mental strength. To keep the joy alive in one's home during a time of illness is no easy feat. Many days and nights were filled with fear simply not knowing what the next hour or day would hold. I found myself asking 'Who next?', 'What next?' and 'How will I?'.
And here we are at the start of March, healthy again, but such a feeling of loss for me. Looking back I know that in the midst of caring for and nursing my family back to health I neglected my own health and managed to ignore stoking my own inner flame. It showed up in many subtle ways. And then there were the times when it made an awful big appearance.
Just feeling the sun, watching the melt, seeing one of my children manage to scrap up the year's first mud pie oh-so proudly and seeing that new page on my calendar has given me the first of many bursts of hope and inspiration that I so desperately need to get myself where I need to be.