sick

Last week threw me for a loop. What started out at as a stuffy nose two Friday mornings ago turned out to be an awfully first-time infected ear for our little Luca.

Needless to say, after five out of six sleepless nights, carefully timed doses of pain medication, everything from garlic, olive oil, onion juice and breastmilk in his ear and finally, the dreaded pink stuff, our little babe is back to his normal state of health.

Losing sleep is one of my top fears. It tops my list right up there with the family-wide stomach bugs and a disasterously messy house. I went from a state of tired, to exhausted to walking-zombie pretty fast and spent more time pacing the floors of my bedroom than I have in the five years we have lived in this house.

Most of the time spent rocking our sick baby was spent dozing off and dreaming of a full recovery for Luca and sleep for me. In between however there were amazing moments of stillness and prayer in which I was able to commune with my God more deeply than I have in a long time.

It was amazing to have my heart and mind opened to all that He had been trying to show me for a long, long time. It was humbling, overwhelming and freeing all at once.

I spent last week parenting supernaturally because it was certainly not by my own might that I not only endured the day but actually celebrated it. My children did not miss a meal and even continued with their schooling during that time. It was a miracle.

It was not without the prayers and practical help of some dear friends who came to my aid and helped with my children, loaned me medical equipment and sent loads of encouragement my way.

Why is it that we often grow the most during the challenging times?

How is it that something so trying and tiring can encourage us to dig deep and ask the tough questions in life that require that very energy that we are trying so desperately to regain and reserve?

Can we really stay loyal to the lessons once the tough times pass?