Wednesday, July 18, 2007

In My Defense

Whew! Another day in the archives of my motherhood story. Today would certainly NOT be one of the episodes that I’d choose to dust off and replay anytime in the near future.
Tears were had by all, most of them being mine ("Yes, mommies DO cry too!"). A trip to the peditrician's office was NOT on my agenda, but somehow managed to become #1 on my priority list at about 4:15pm today. Thankfully the office was open until 5pm. If only they were having a "two for one special" ("Oh, Doctor, do you think you could also take a quick peek in the baby's ears too?", said sheepishly and heavy with guilt as the clock reads "5:35pm").
Dinner was not one of my proudest moments. Do cereal and juice count as a balanced meal. Was it prepared with love? Uh, no. I could barely get the cereal to hit the bowl my hands were trembling so badly!
Is bribery one of The Five Love Languages? If so, then my kids are feeling real special tonight. I think I actually told them they could have ANYTHING THEY WANTED just to alleviate some of the guilt I was feeling from being such a train wreck for the better part of the day ("ANYTHING Mommy? Even another pudding? More cookies? Can I throw my sword at the fireplace bricks with reckless abandon?", Nicolas asks. "Yes, yes, and why not dear...", I cower in response).
I simply can't air all of this dirty laundry without at least making a meager attempt at excusing my behavior, justifying my attitude and defending my impatience.


1. It’s a rainy day and I rely heavily on sunshine to boost my mood.

2. I only drank two cups of coffee this morning instead of my typical three cups.

3. I’m sick. It’s a head cold. The Netti Pot is my best friend these days.

4. I am going on day SIX of being ALONE with my children while my husband is on a missions trip to Mexico.

5. I’m nursing a thirty pound child who is making it his life’s mission to nurse his way through the day and night.

6. That same thirty pound child is also sick. It too is a head cold, with lots of drool and snot… ON ME.

7. My four-year old is either a)ignoring me when I speak, b)is living in a fantasy world i which he actually needs to have sword fighting, sofa diving and wrestling-style take-downs life-sustaining skills c)he needs a hearing test (oh wait, he’s had one of those and he passed).

8. My five year old daughter found a way into our “iTunes” account and bought not one, but TEN, yes I reapeat, TEN Hannah Montana songs unintentionally (if only I had never taught her to “point and click” that darn mouse).

9. I'm running out of consequences for sibling bickering.

10. Michael’s craft store does not carry sticker paper or string shoe laces. What? (I could feel my eye start twitching as the sales clerk tried to recommend yarn or leather laces. NO. They simply would not do. Doesn’t she realize that these are kid’s crafts that we’re dealing with here? What kind of mother uses yarn for her kids sewing cards? And LEATHER LACES? Do they think I’m made of money???)

No matter what kind of a day we have, know this… Mommy loves you. And I’d rather be right here where I am than any other place in the whole wide world. I am living life’s most fulfilling adventure and you are all changing me, day by day, for the better.

And I remind myself too, that God’s mercies are new each morning.


Nesting Momma said...

Oh wow I know how you feel. I had to laugh at the cereal and juice. I find myself at times saying, sure ok...too tired too care and giving myself the grace that one night of breakfast...won't kill them. We are good mommas because we see the flaws and know that God is our strength. Have a great day tomorrow no matter how many meltdowns!(praying for you too!)

Mama Sarita said...

oh man!!!!

I will give you a call later!

Jackie said...

oh dear--so, where are you going on your week long 'missions trip' to recuperate ;)

Anonymous said...

my love! thinking of you...
xoxo, chrissy