Monday, April 02, 2007

Still Waiting

It seems like the experiences that go along with having children and a family have taught me more about myself, my husband, my disposition, my dreams/fears and life itself than any other single life experience/book/class/lesson ever has.
Being a mother has been a series of episodes, whether short (waiting for your child to finish their meal so that you can be somewhere on time) or long (9 months of carrying that child inside of you) that have taught me tremendous amounts on the virute of PATIENCE. Saying that being a mother has "taught me ABOUT" patience is not quite true. Being a mother has taught me HOW TO BE PATIENT. Know about something and actually BEING/DOING that thing are so very different.
It is as if all of those waiting periods have been like little seeds that the winds of time have blown (some gently and some quite violently) into my garden of life. Some of the seeds found their way nicely into the soil and began sprouting and growing immediately into beautiful traits. Some of the seeds missed the mark and perhaps I had to experience the episode again (and again and again!) in order for the little seed to fall into the ground properly. After all has been said and done, there is a nice little garden of patience that has grown over the last six years. It lies nicely in a sunny spot in my spirit (and I don't even have to water it often!).
This is not to say that I am always patient (my husband, children and now, sad to say even mother-in-law can say that I can "lose it"... she was actually quite pleased to see that I was "human" as she called it!!). But, I know where to draw from when I am in need of sustinance and survival skills!
So, with all of that said, I find myself waiting for two major events at this very moment. Both of them relating to my precious 11-month son, Elias James...
The first event that I am waiting for, or should I say waiting on, is the arrival of his FIRST BIRTHDAY on April 12th. In TEN days, my little baby will no longer be a "baby", but a "toddler". I find this so bitter-sweet. And I know that it is life and that he is so teetering on the edge of infancy and toddlerhood (you can see it in his eyes when he defiantly puts his hands into the trash can when he thinks that no one is looking!), but I have to admit that I am not ready to let go of having a "baby".
The other event that I am surely waiting for (day after day and night after night!) is for this same sweet, precious and oh-so charming little boy to START SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT! Talk about a test of patience (not to mention, sanity)! It has been 11 months, 2weeks and 4 days since I've had a solid, uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep (but who's counting?).

I guess that these two events could potentially collide and come to fruition at the same exact moment (like they did with his brother Nicolas... who slept throught the night, 12 hours straight, for the first time on the eve of his first birthday). But, I'm not holding my breath. So for now I'm just waiting.


Mama Sarita said...

Oh do I so know about waiting on that sleeping through the night thing. Sometimes I feel like I am the only freak mommy who's kids aren't sleeping through the night before a year.

Beautiful Blog!

Anonymous said...

You really should write an inspirational book and publish it. when i read your blogs they seem so professional and i feel like i am allready reading a book. you have such great talent. i love and miss you!