I had the privilege of attending a play lastnight. It was "Birth", a play by Karen Brody. It was a dramatic reading of the play in which eight different woman were portrayed relating to their experiences with birth itself. They night brought out many laughs, but also many other different emotions, reflections and desires.
It was also very special to watch this play with my friend Sarah and to watch another friend Karen performing in the play. Both of these amazing woman attended my birth with Nicolas in 2003 as my doulas. Let me tell you, if having one doula present is as powerful and encouraging as it is, then two doulas is only that much more empowering!
During the reading I was brought back many times to my own births. Only positive emotions came to the surface and I thought back with endearment about my three, healthy, vaginal births. I mention "vaginal" because a big theme of the night was the whole "slippery slope" of the epidural route and how it often led to a Cesearean with many of these woman (these characters were based on real-life woman, so their experiences were real and relative to what is happening to birth in America today).
Witnessing the experiences that were portrayed lastnight also helped me as a doula. I gained insight into the laboring woman's mind and emotions lastnight. Insight that I often gain after attending a birth, but only slowly and in bits and pieces as the experience is internalized.
These two women, Sarah and Karen, along with another woman (whom I had the pleasure of meeting face-to-face last night) and I have recently teamed up to form a group of doulas/childbirth educators that will be able to support women and their families during their births. I am very honored to be setting out on this noble mission.
Today, as I think back on the night, several different themes come as the overall message being conveyed (at least to ME)...
Birth is NOT "just one day" in your life, it will change and shape you for the remainder of your life.
Your body is "not a lemon" as Ina May Gaskin has so poignantly remarked (you've gotta love Ina May. If you are unfamiliar with her I would highly suggest reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth")
During labor and birth, it is okay to experience pain and just let not try to "fix it". After all, birth is natural and a normal process, NOT an illness, an emergency or a sickness that needs to be treated/cured.
To hear more about "Birth" and other "B.O.L.D." events visit Birth On Labor Day.
If you ask me what I'm up to these days, a little of "this" and a little of "that" would probably be my answer. But if you were to dig deeper, you would find that my "plate is full", very full.
I'm not complaining about having a full life. This is what I like to call it instead of "busy". To me, being "busy" usually brings to mind a picture of somebody who is scurrying around, frantically trying to do too many things at once. And while it may be said that I am doing "many things" (sometimes at once, but usually just consecutively), I certainly am trying to keep my head about me while working hard at the noble tasks that God has set before me.
I recently read that the Japanese symbol for "busy" is a heart with a slash through it. Ugh. How ugly it looks to be busy- a canceled heart, simply heartless.
I also recently heard someone say that "busyness" is not of the devil, it IS the devil. Now that may be a little extreme, but I believe that there is some truth to it.
Once a person usually finds out that we homeschool our children I can almost guarantee that they will say one of two things almost immediately: one is to inquire about how my children will obtain proper "socialization" if they are not out at a school for the better part of their day, and two is to sigh from deep within their soul and exclaim how "busy" I must be.
Busy? I really wouldn't describe myself as busy. Again, busyness to me conjures up the image of a frantic life. A power struggle between a certain situation/commitment/responsibility and the person trying to "do" that very thing. When we are busy we are trying to control/be/do it all at any cost.
I'd like to think that one of the aspects that separates a busy life from a full life are a couple of things...
The task at hand is a noble one. It is a responsibility or activity or situation that will bring good to my family and friends (and hopefully, the world around me). It may be that I was brought down this path by God Himself. Otherwise, what sort of satisfaction is there in the end for simply "doing" for the sake of "doing" (or often times, "keeping up" with those around us. And yes, I find this is often one of the reasons that people are busy doing the things that they are doing).
The responsibility at hand is one that has been deliberately chosen/accepted/welcomed into ones' life. We embrace the situation in which we are working so hard and so well at. We are not victims simply being tossed back and forth by the waves of circumstance which we have sailed into.
Our heart's attitude. Again, the image of the slashed heart. I believe that we can have a full life without having a busy heart or spirit.
As someone who likes to be productive, I do often fight against that urge to "do more". I was feeling this tug particularly strongly at the start of the school year. You know, this is the time when parents carefully choose which activities their children will be participants of for the upcoming school year. I was feeling very stressed out about trying to find an activity for my four-year old to take part in. It turned out that our budget just didn't allow for any professional instruction. I felt the same way about my six-year old. Certainly taking ballet alone couldn't be enough? I felt the need to add more. After careful consideration we decided against piano lessons. She was slightly disappointed but the let down soon faded into forgetfulness of the original notion of something "new". Now, I can look back at those situations with peace and contentment, knowing that God did not desire to have those in our life. I believe I can now see those reasons. And I have to say, that I am chuckling a bit. As it turns out, Nicolas was offered a spot in the Soccer Class at our Monday Homeschooling Classes at the Lutz Museum even though he wasn't a "five-year old". I was thrilled at his chance to finally have some instruction and team building. But, there he was on Monday, paying close attention for a while and then running off the field to be with me at the picnic tables for a snack (big surprise if you know anything about Nicolas and his eating habits!). And that's how it went... on and off the field for the whole 50 minute session. I jokingly told my friend during our lunch time that day that I was glad that I didn't actually spend money to have him NOT participate in something that I thought he needed so badly. And as for those piano lessons... I am quickly realizing that Sophia couldn't possibly have taken on another activity that required anymore mental or fine motor skill use than what her very generous first grade curriculum is already providing. By 2:30 you will find her in a puddle of exhaustion and it seems that only a bike ride is able to bring her back to life until bedtime.
I am reminded of Proverbs 15:16 and 17 which says,
Better a little with the fear of the LORD that great wealth with great turmoil. Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred.
And I know for sure that there would be turmoil in my heart, and hence in my home, if I willingly chose to put a slash through my and my children's hearts by becoming busy.
I had the opportunity to attend a conference on the beautiful Charlotte Mason philosophy of education on Friday. The kids and I went up to Nashua, NH and spent the night with Mike's parents on Thursday night. "Memere" was kind enough to take on the huge task of watching ALL THREE children on Friday while I drove into Groton, MA to attend the conference... EIGHT hours of babysitting. A big "thank you" to my wonderful mother-in-law.
The conference was very enriching and inspiring. I even learned how to play the recorder so that I could teach my kids (yes, this is the new favorite item in the house...). Charlotte Mason believed in "awakening the soul of the child" by providing a generous, broad, culturally-rich and liberal education to every child. Charlotte did not believe in using text books or presenting dry facts to children, but rather to have them read "living books". She believed in "awakening the soul" of the child and believed that this required that "gift of time". No one should ever rush academics. In fact she believed that before the age of six, any formal lessons shouldn't even take place unless the child requested the instruction (for example, Nicolas has just begun to ask me "Mom, how do you spell the word...?", but I would not at this point teach him phonics formally). The great outdoors are one of the best places to be as a young child and she believed that children should spend several HOURS each day outside! I posted about this in early summer here. Lessons are kept short so as to keep concentration maximized and dawdling to a minimum. Fifteen to twenty minutes for the youngest child. Lessons are also varied. For example, if Sophia has just copied a poem (using her hand, of course), we would then move onto something that let out some energy and then to a sitting/reading activity. You know, mix things up. Even as an adult, I get ancy sitting at the computer for too long or for a lecture (um, not to say that I've been sitting here writing this post FOREVER...).
This "rich and liberal" curriculum includes language arts (oral narration, copywork, spelling, grammar and later dictation), history, geography, math, science (most of which is Nature Study), literature, art, poetry, music, handicraft and foreign language. It is indeed a "generous curriculum" although I am amazed that I rarely see Sophia burnt out or bored to tears. It really helps to hold her concentration and focus. Even at this point, during our first grade year, we are experiencing most of these subjects. Every day we read a poem, a passage of Scripture, copy a poem or motto in our "best handwriting", study math/"see" mathematics taking place, hear a good piece of literature read and have Sophia read aloud to me. Weekly we study a piece of art, hear a new folksong or hymn, take a nature walk and journal/sketch what we have observed, read about a person who made history, study a bird or other animal and learn a new skill (whether is be baking, embroidery, woodworking or making a card for someone- anything that is useful in the end).
It is so fulfilling and exciting to be learning alongside my children. Learning really is a lifelong process. I never thought I would just NOW be learning to play the recorder or that goats gravitate to the highest spot in their pen or what a "laconic answer" means or that Ben Franklin dipped candles with his father as a child! I am enjoying first grade as much as Sophia...
Thank you Curious George for capturing my kids attention (all three of them, yes, I'm letting my toddler watch a bit of TV) for a blissful 25-minute block of time every Monday through Friday.
You have allowed to me to accomplish a half day's work in a very short amount of time. For we all know that 25 kid-free minutes equals approximately 4 hours of children-under-foot minutes. Things like-
clearing and loading breakfast dishes into dishwasher, wiping down counters, sweeping kitchen floor, putting in a load of laundry checking e-mails and let's not forget the all-important first cup of coffee.
And besides, this morning ritual has become a multi-age bonding session for my children. For what else can capture the attention of a six year old, four year old and 17-month old child at the same time and pull them into a big snuggle sandwich on the sofa?
I was thinking about The Sound of Music (my favorite musical) tonight and was pondering the song My Favorite Things. Maria sings this song to the children during a scene where a thunderstorm is taking place in order to distract their attention from their fears and focus it instead on the things, be they simple or grand, in life that they love and enjoy. What a great song. We don't often sing about the simple things that bring deep contentment to our hearts do we?
So I got to thinking about some of OUR favorite things and thought I would post our TOP TEN FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT TODAY...
"Apple Scrapple" bread from Great Harvest Bread Company here in town.
Identifying and naming a bird that we've just learned about (if you love birds and love Beatrix Potter then you will LOVE "The Burgess Bird Book for Children"! I am learning so much about one of my favorite creatures.)
New programmable coffee pots!! Now there is a freshly brewed pot of coffee waiting for us in the morning.
Tinker Toys and all the weapons that can be built with them that the makers from 1913 probably didn't intend for them to be made into (sword, lightsabers, hinged sword, etc...)
Homemade Beef Stew
A "sisters night out"- ah, how refreshing! I love you my little Livy, but it's nice to see your mommy without you perched on her hip my love...
A good "Little House on the Prairie" episode to watch before bedtime
Being in "Level TWO" ballet (oh, Sophia LOVES this one)
The really unique techo-Star Wars theme song that we've found on iTunes (if you could only see Nicolas MOVE to this one- can you say seriously fast techno moves combined with lightsaber sparring?)
"Wind Down Time"- the time after the kids are tucked into bed between the time we as adults actually find the motivation to pull ourselves away from the blissful quietness that is our evening.
I am pleased to say that (after much hard work, learning as I went and a flare for being scrappy) I have finished sewing my first quilt. It is a baby quilt. You ask for what baby? Well, although we do not technically have any "babies" in our home anymore, it will simple be a quilt for cuddling for my kids. I will not point out my mistakes (I have been told never to do this when displaying something for someone). I will instead only say that I LEARNED WHAT I WILL DO DIFFERENTLY FOR THE NEXT QUILT.
Not only was this my first quilt, but it was also my first sewing project. I am talking I didn't even know how to thread my sister's sewing machine (thank you Bethany!). I was clueless about seams and bobbins and pedals- all of it. I can say that the seam ripper and I became very close during this project.
But in the end, I am very happy with my work. Now what will I sew next...
Those of you that know me know that I offer my kids glass and ceramic cups to drink from versus the "safer" and more "kid-marketed" plastic cups, be they sippy or otherwise.
For a while know, I have been trying to find a small, glass cup to offer to Elias during meal and snack time so that he can begin to gain control and confidence in taking his own drinks from an open cup. Tonight he was drinking his milk from this (one of my favorite) small china teacup. The pattern is a gorgeous blue with twirling vines and a golden rim. He seemed to feel so proud using it and certainly fell right into the etiquette and properness that one must assume when taking beverage from a teacup (notice the expression, daintily placed fingers and support offered from the opposite hand!).
Until I can put in the order I have planned for small "first glasses" and other tableware/personal care items from one of my favorite children's catalogs/sites- Montessori Services, I will offer this teacup to him. Who says that tea parties are just for girls...
As I sat on my front steps this afternoon at 1:30 and watched my two oldest children fill yet another bucket up with soap and water, I had this haunting feeling come over me that I was doing something wrong. You see, we had been finished with schoolwork for nearly an hour already and they were free to play and enjoy the day.
You see, school is back in session. By that, I mean the public schools in our area and that we too have started schooling. We celebrated our second day today. First grade is off to a positive start. My first grader, herself, is a more patient, enthusiastic, softer-spirited version of the spunky, frustrated and defiant kindergartener that she was last year. "Please Mom, just one more lesson of math before we move on to reading?", she has asked now for two days in a row. Strange. I know.
I felt like I should be "busier" or more frantic throughout the day. I mean come on. How could one woman actually remain sane and peaceful with three small children by her side, on her lap, above her playing in their rooms and outside her front door washing rocks.
My day was simple. I wasn't due to be anywhere at a particular time. No appointments. No one to pick up, drop off or wait for. No lunches to pack. No snacks to bring in. No backpack to examine the night before. No homework to check for completion. No notes to sign or permission slips to signature. Just me, reading with my kids. Presenting the concept of number value to my six year old and watching her shade and count items, blocks and pictures with enthusiasm as she wore an adorable side-smirking grin on her face. She was enjoying herself and so was I.
This is too easy. I thought. There's got to be more to it. We read a Bible passage from Luke and I watched as my children looked up to the ceiling in wonderment and amazement as they heard about the angel Gabriel tell Zechariah that he and his wife Elisabeth would become parents in their old age. And they remember when asked to tell me the "story back". They remember that Zechariah worked in the temple and that their son John would be the cousin to our Savior Jesus.
I stood contented as I watch my four-year old build with blocks and wear a serious and focused look on his face. His brows lowered and plump bottom lip being pushed out a bit. And of course, that yummy dimple in his chin.
I help my daughter with forming the number "six" by making tiny dots with my pencil so that she can trace over my steady and sure work. There are fables to read. I help in sounding out a word in "Little Bear" as my eldest reads proudly and with a sweetness in her tone. I assist in pronouncing the name, "Henry Wadsworth Longfellow" as she copies one of his poems to practice her handwriting and then share a giggle with my children as we ALL find his name long and literal.
And then it is done. And by "it" I mean school.
Natural. That is how it came and went. There did not seem to be a definite beginning or end. Only a sense that my children were soaking in all of the beauty, truth, insight, language and skill that was gently placed before them. For they do not know that what they are doing is called "learning" or that what they are trying at is this thing called "school". A thing that parents actually move out of neighborhoods for in efforts to be closer to the "better ones". The schools that score higher on standardized tests or that are better "racially balanced" that the old one that they used to live near. This thing that is a taboo at times among mothers talking at the library or the park. About circle times and clubs, bulletin boards with their children's work posted in the hallways and stickers and food for incentives.
I guess I have been programmed to expect the good things in life to come at a cost. To be hard to attain. I am by nature a hard worker; one who typically takes the "long and hard" roads in life. To believe it takes blood, sweat and tears to attain and obtain the "good things" in life. But this thing called schooling, this thing that allows me to be with my children as their mother both during the day as well as after 3pm, is not that at all. It is more like the ease and gentleness by which I first accepted these babies into my arms the day they were born. Instinctively and willingly. Proud and with favor. This is how I have accepted being able to teach and be taught by my children.
We're back from a week away to Disney World and couldn't justify blogging about it until our suitcases were unpacked and I had at least SIX loads of laundry washed, dried, folded and yes, put away. So here is a little bit about our first family vacation since our fifth member was added (over 16 months ago)...
Home sweet home! We have returned from Orlando and are REALLY appreciating the dry, cool air that Connecticut is giving us this holiday weekend. Florida was exciting, stimulating and adventuresome. We loved every minute of our days spent at Walt Disney World and saw and experienced more than we ever imagined a family with three small children could experience.
The above photo is us standing on the pier leading from our resort to the ferry landing. We rode the ferry to many of the Disney parks. That is Disney's "Boardwalk" in the background. These are our little Mickey Mouse pirates! We rode "Pirates of the Caribbean" as a family... while Elias was intrigued, Sophia and Nicolas were terrified of the very life-like pirates and prisoners in the "cave". Tears were shed and howling echoed as our boat splashed through the dark and gloomy waterway. Half-way through the tears ended and they started to find the characters silly (especially the wife chasing her husband around in circles with a pitchfork aimed at his behind!!! This was of course Nicolas' favorite scene.). Afterwards, Nicolas chose to spend his "Disney Dollars" on a pirate sword and a very life-like musket. Very cool I have to admit. I just LOVED this scene from "Singing in the Rain" and had to pose for a photo. The kids found it funny that Mom was having fun too! Imagine that... a picture of the mother on a family vacation (usually in our family I am BEHIND the camera!). Who are these to lone beach combers? Sophia and Nicolas just loved the "beach theme" of our resort. A lake and beach, lagoon-style pools that lead eventually to a wading pool with sand bars. Perfect for them! We were able to lounge on the sand bars and just watch them swim. A lot easier than carrying Elias on my hip in a four-foot pool. Sophia got the hang of swimming underwater for a good distance. Nicolas was really loving holding his face under water and running knee-deep through the pools. And Elias, well he is certainly proving to be the most daring of our children. He insisted on wading chin-deep unassisted through the water. And despite a dozen plunges UNDER the water, he kept of going. By the end, I swear he was holding his breath! There are about 200 photos that were taken during our visits to the Magic Kingdom, Epcot, MGM Studios and Animal Kingdom. I am still sorting through them but wanted to share a few shots. There is SO much to share in the way of pictures and stories, but we'll save those for our face-to-face visits with our friends!
We are thankful for the long holiday weekend to give us a chance to unpack and get back to our "normal" routine. It feels strange not to head off on a shuttle bus or ferry first thing in the morning to experience adventure and newness. I will take it. There is nothing as comforting and contenting as the feeling of "being home".
